in Journey

Two reasons

So, two reasons why I haven’t decided to see what’s on the other side yet.
The first one? Kids. Dammit. Having had members of my own family and close friends decide that this life is not for them I’m currently of the opinion it’d be an awful thing to put other people through. I’m sure not everyone thinks I’m a cunt. Chortle, etc.

Secondly I’m absolutely terrified of the moment just before you die, and I’d quite like to avoid that for as long as possible.
Avoiding confrontation has been an art I’ve been steadfastly mastering over the years, you see.

I should have had kids earlier… Spent too much time in my early married years drinking and doing the other stuff one associates with that sort of lifestyle. There’s a good 15 out of the previous 20 years that I don’t really remember much of. By time I’m 70 (assuming I actually get there) my eldest will be only 31. Fucking hell. I’m an “old Dad”. I used to be the youngest of my peer group, ffs.

I think the drink-and-pills-in-a-car-with-the-hosepipe-from-exhaust would be the preferred method, for those of you who were going to ask. Falling asleep whilst off your mash has always been something I enjoyed, and still do to this day when I can convince my doctor to give me more tramadol. Damn that rugby injury.

Someone who I listen to on the radio a lot said something that rings true, at least with me. Being suicidal, thinking about suicide doesn’t always mean that you’re going to do it. You can have suicidal thoughts without necessarily being a danger to yourself OR THOSE AROUND YOU.

Something important… If you are on that train and pulling into FUCKIT town, speak to these people. They’ve helped me, a lot.
The Samaritans

I promise that my next blog post will either be hilariously funny or rock n roll.