Jones

That’s not when your bloody shift ends.

So, the new boy on the team is already winding me up, not least because I’m old enough to be his Dad.
Still, his acne is clearing up nicely and with a bit of cultivation the caterpillar on his top lip he could pass as a very young Midge Ure.
Why is he winding you up? Well, I WILL TELL YOU. He logs out of his phone precisely ONE MINUTE before his shift ends, just so that he doesn’t have to risk getting a telephone call in the last minute of his shift. What a selfish twat he is! I may have to form a battle plan, it’s been a while.

Thank you for calling, how may I help you..?

Hello.
My name is Jones. I work in a call centre. I’ve worked in a few call centres, some of them pretending they weren’t. They were.
I’m here to tell you about my time in them, both past and present. You have been warned.