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Sorry mate, emails are not “URGENT!!!!!!!!!”

It’s a common gripe of people in support roles but it’s worth repeating… If you have an urgent matter that needs super urgent attention, for all that is good and holy, do *NOT* send an email with:
a. The word URGENT, especially if you are using capital letters.
b. Any exclamation marks.

In fact, with regards to point b, you may find that the time taken to respond to your email is in direct relation to the number of exclamation marks appearing after the word URGENT.
To use an a well-used saying, “You wouldn’t email the local fire station if your house was on fire, would you?”

But that’s not the worst thing. Oh no. The worst thing is when you get sent an URGENT!!!!!! email and then the idiot phones you minutes later to see if you’ve fixed their problems to the nearest decimal point. Fucking twats.